esports-detectives

mTw couldn't stay on the plate when it came to LAN.

mTw.MindFactory, a team that was proven on LAN apparently after beating Team Celsus at the UKeSA event back in June. Two months on and they’re the joke of the community; in one of the biggest organizations out there with incredible support yet more wobbly than nestle’s strawberry jelly at a five year olds bouncy castle birthday party.

In an attempt to change the fact that Celsus are the only team they can beat at LAN, mTw decided to drop alu and bring in somR. HornYz stated recently how “the most successful German team to date was based around an obese gamer: Michael “Trigger” Sowa, we add somR to mirror this success”.

The changes leave mTw to dominate online:

- HornYz
- jEtLeCkz
- JoTsChY
- Plotsch
- somR

We hope that aequitas and x-ray rise to the challenge before MW2.

sM!Tty returns from twelves months service with greenpeace.

TBH.MSI have had some ups and downs recently. They didn’t perform badly over the summer, but it wasn’t exactly exceptional. For sure they had potential, but changes had to be when looking at Modern Warfare 2 coming up quickly this fall.

Unfortunately star player reflexzR doesn’t really have the time anymore to compete at the top level and practice the required hours, rizaR returns to the roster after a short stint in world famous onliners mTw.MindFactory where the lack of a shirt big enough was cited as a key factor in his return. Finally sM!Tty comes in, former SPEED-LINK LAN crumbler, not much else to say - here they are in their full glory:

- juL
- smithz
- sM!Tty
- morpH
- rizaR
- reflexzR (back-up)

Expect them to beat mTw at LAN easily. “HUMDUUUULAAAAAAA!”

It is with great joy we can announce the folding of the Reason-Gaming lineup. A long running hatred has been running through the esports detectives news crew ever since Tim ‘Revoltz’ Denton claimed they would win both summer lans.

Justice was served last week as the reason-gaming team got taught a lesson or two by former CoD great blackmane who played like a man possessed. I caught up with him for a quick statement about the news:

Blackmane - “LOL Fucking shitters, they got owned by a guy who doesn’t even play the game. Fuck off fucking nigger shitters.”

Quite Elegant I must say.

After managing to avoid finishing 4th for a 3rd consecutive lan it seems the well known emo nature of the team came to the forefront and they simply couldn’t handle the pressure of being in the top 3 of an event. Kammyz and the self proclaimed ‘human aimbot’ were paticularly disapointing. Tim denton was later quoted as stating; “They did a v1oqor”.

At TeX things went from bad to worse as they limped over the line against a MTW team who didn’t win a game at OOF3. They’re tournament then came to a dramatic end when vazy’s h2k team sent them packing.

The highlight of the summer would be when metju grabbed d1ablo by the neck and through him against a wall demanding he spoke to him in the way he does online. d1ablo simply refused and begged forgiveness. “I’m just here to play a game” he wimped quietly under his breath.

Reason will return with a new lineup but it will not contain any finnish players due to funding problems. Rumour has it Gial are severing their ties with reason and they would rather keep 5 Czech’s alive then fund flights for someone who cannot speak.

The Reason-Gaming Lineup was:

Lighters
Kammyz
Novoice
Revoltz
d1ablo

It’s been a while. It’s been too fucking long. But now my peons. WE ARE BACK. The summer lans are over. The game is changing. This is the place to find out EVERY important lineup change and every little piece of information you will ever want to hear.

Watch This Space…

Swedish based Call of Duty 4 side Fnatic today announced significant changes in their roster going into the UKeSA Finals and the series of summer events. With recent failures online, long term member Daniel “ginger bear” Asp has decided to step down from active duty once again for unknown reasons, probably motivational.

Coming into replace him is none other than former TEK9 and Button Bashers superstar and body builder Stevy “Stevy” Verheyen. This addition will surely make Fnatic a lot stronger than they were previously, and with Stevy’s 30 bombs coming in on a gamely basis we will surely see them placing top five at events soon.

The following changes leave:

- kyochi
- LINQAN
- rivve
- odx
- Stevy

We wish the swedes all the best.

In other related news, LINQAN has now reached a size 50 inch waist.

The inevitable has happened today with the terrible Miles ”Myzz” Cahill being removed from the yoyotech lineup. However, the rest of the team were less then happy with renowned emo Frosters decision, with Vanner also quitting/removed saying “If that mess Skier joins I’m leaving.”

The Yoyotech lineup is now probably

-Froster

-Deko

-Hysobe

-Skier

-? (maybe Germaine.)

Other huge changes are also more then likely to take place in camp TCM with the team more than likely completely folding. Adam ”Twist” Cheshire was the first to start the emo decline stating that he didn’t want to play cod4 anymore. The team in a desperate move approached such players as Froster but were unable to find a replacement. With Vasquez stating that he would quit gaming if Twist did and a heavy defeat to Fnatic earlier this evening it seems that they will fold.

ButtonBashers Fold

ButtonBashers have now more then likely completely folded, with Svo and Zemme begging to join reason gaming earlier today. It appears Stevy is quitting gaming to pursue his body building career. With this news Svo and Zem are attempting to merge with another lineup.

Infused Pick up Luni?

With Skier officially leaving Infused are trying to find a new aggressive smg player. However, with limited players available it seems that they mite pickup Ross ”FAcup” Mccabe.

Update: *Germaine is now also rumored to be talking about quitting gaming entirely.*

Ono tries the bait

With Vae trying to bait for Yoyotech earlier this week it seems his teammate has followed suit also trying approaching Vanner behind his friends back. However this move was unsuccessful.

We here at esports-detectives bring you an old favourite. Taking over from Barnaby i’m going to continue his brutal style of an interview. This time i sit down with none other than will the fat nye. Since publicy showing his frustations of failing in gaming at TeX during his then infused sides embarrasing losses to American opposition, will has spent most his life out of the gaming spotlight bar a brief spell confirming him as the biggest UK bottler at gamerlan and CC5.

So will, rumour has it you and morg used to shove sex toys up each others arseholes. confirm/deny?

If you would like to read more then please click on the google ads and i will post the rest of the interview. Many Thanks!

Illustrious Call of Duty 4 veteran Jonny “Jonny” Smith, currently playing for Team SPEED-LINK, has recently been complaining about a lack of bullet registration on the Rasta C4B server and thus decided to take it upon himself to buy a new one.

Unfortunately for Smith, things were going wrong for him in game tonight as he managed to drop a combined 15 frags across a full 12 maps of play. With screenshots being sent to Team SPEEDLINK’s tactical leader L-Keen, Jonny’s fate in the line-up could be decided quite quickly - before he gets chance to drop a horrible scoreline against a top team in the Pro Series.

Esports Detectives back giving it large to the noobs in the Counter Strike community. Four Kings Counter-Strike: Source team have been baited out to TCM by a cunning ploy involving the management and hudzG. Although a huge loss for 4K, they will be picking up a huge team in the near future to replace them. I know who it is, but I’ve been told not to rat by one of my good friends.

TCM lines up as follows:

- ShadowmaN
- crazycat
- hudzG
- PEZ
- Callisto

Best of luck to them for the future!

The Dutch team of Buttonbashers have certainly been struggling of late and after only achieving a top 3 at the recent fatlan, it seems Pietje has had enough. If this is true it is a blow that BB are unlikely to recover from. But that is not the end of BB’s woes as it appears Dignitas are angling for Stevy.

Who exactly Dignitas were trying to replace when they approached Stevy is unknown but purely speculating Blackmane must be the most likely candidate. With his A levels approaching and his poor attitude Dignitas will have little time to practice before the summer events, so bringing in Stevy would no doubt improve the teams motivation. Either Way Dignitas have been unsuccessful due to Stevy’s contractual obligations to BB. With Pietje leaving it is currently unknown what the team will do, but with BB unwilling to release them it is thought they will once again rebuild.

*UPDATE: BB have now apparently lose their salaries which may explain the current instability in the team.*